Last night was good. I think Amy got about 10 hours of sleep...not bad for a woman with half of a brain! Crude humor...I apologize. They actually didn't remove any of the brain. She's doing well this morning. By the time I rolled out of bed she was already up and eating breakfast. We tried to wash out more of the surgical stuff in her hair today and then re-bandaged things back up. She's resting right now with Marley and Bailey. The headache is still definitely there, and the anxiety about messing up the stitches is pretty big. "Wait...don't touch that....don't pour water there....are you touching my stitches....hey, are you touching my stitches....Jared, is that touching my stitches?"
Moment of honesty....I really thought I could do a better job than our nurse did on the bandage. Let's just say I may have been wrong. For now, I'll stick to sharing the Gospel, and let the nurses keep their jobs. By the end of this though....well, no promises!
I did have the chance to get out of the house for a few minutes last night to sit in the back of our student worship service at Fellowship. Amy's parents came over for a couple of hours, and those of you that know me, know that it's tough for me to sit still too long. What a blessing to sit in the back of our service and worship. It felt almost like a home coming...not to the church....they don't need me. It felt like that moment you see in the movies where something ridiculous happens and the immediate reaction is to go to church or head to mass.
I'm not really the guy that feels like you have to be at the church to worship. Don't take that out of context though! I could have and have been worshipping the Lord for His goodness right here in our home all day. But as I sat in the back of a room I usually lead in, God reminded me of something. He reminded me how much He loves us. He's done that all year, but last night it was good to just sit in His presence in a place that most people misconstrue.
As our students sang a Daniel Bashta song, 'How He Loves,' it was as clear to me as it's ever been....I am loved by the Creator of this universe. Have you stopped to think about what that means? Here's the truth....God is healing Amy. We are still praying and asking Him to work quickly with her and relieve the pain, heal the wound, and bring our daughter home soon. But we are very understanding that God isn't just healing Amy so that she can feel better. God isn't even doing such amazing things in our lives because He loves us. God has orchestrated all of this to make Himself known....to YOU! He's given us a podium to speak on. It's not really a podium we would've chosen for ourselves, but that's what makes Him so amazing. He's opened ears of people that are literally all over the world. So I kind of had this thought today: with the thousands of people who have already read our blog over the last 24 hrs, I wonder how many of you have truly stopped to think about how much the Creator and Savior of this world loves you. And He's given me the chance to tell you.
Christmas means something different in my home this year. I've spent so many moments swelling up with tears (don't tell Amy), not because I'm scared, but because God has brought us to a place of complete surrender and it feels amazing. I'm 100% out of control in our family, and whether you like it or not, you are too! You can't control the direction of your family. You can't prevent the dreaded brain surgery or rebellious child. You try hard. I tried hard....and here I am.
As we looked at blog stats this morning, I was reminded that as much as God loves Amy and as amazing as God has been to us, this story that is unfolding isn't about us...it's about Him.
So thank you again for the prayers. You can't imagine how much they have comforted and led us closer to the Lord. But more than a report on Amy's health and how things are going, we wanted you to know today, that God loves you. He desires to create God moments in your life like He has done in ours this week. The focus today isn't on how incredibly strong my beautiful bride has been (and she has been)....the focus today turns to how incredibly good our God has been to strengthen us through this time. So wherever you're at today in the internet world, and whatever you may be facing, can I let you in on something? God loves you? It's not a cheesy religious love. It's a fierce love that penetrates your heart when you need it most. And if you were honest today, I believe a lot of you need it most right now. So I wanted to leave you with a verse today...and verse that has been a blessing to me:
Hosea 6: 1-2:
Come, let us return to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us.
I'm reminded today that God is in control....and that has become far more than enough for us!